Lyrics and Poetry

Relationship Flaws and How to Manage them?

I’m not in an expert shoe to give advices about relationship flaws, but I think my past and present relationship experiences – plus over-watching of Personalan and Face-to-Face episodes – make me eligible to discuss this topic.

For those aiming a long-term (or forevermore) relationship, relationship flaws may seem to be a forging experience for a couple. However, for those who are considering an ending to their current relationship, I believe these things are enumerated in a piece of paper of why they have to leave their partners. As general, people look at these instances as tough times. It causes tears, times and, sometimes, even lives. For my opinion, relationship flaws are something to look forward to when you’re getting into a relationship. It’s like the inevitable things that you need to expect all days of your life. It’s not because you have to think negatively, but it some sort of anticipation of what to happen or how you could prepare myself.  Hence, expect the unexpected.

To be honest, I’m one of those who look forward to “forevermore”. (Who never does anyway?) Although I could say that I’m very happy with my relationship these days, but there’s a part of me that I have to prepare with this flaws in order for me to stay aiming to my long-term plan.

What to expect? For me these two are the common things:

JEALOUSY

In my own relationship dictionary, jealousy has two definitions:  (1) it defines how much you don’t want to lose a person, and (2) it could also be defined as how much you trust your partner. People always get wrong understanding when it comes to this situation. They thought people could get rid of it easily but aren’t really. That’s why I always remember and I advise my friends that never listen to people who said that they’ve overcome this feeling. They are lying and they could only add burden in your situation. No one actually can get rid of this. The right people to talk to when it comes to asking for advise are the ones who say “I’ve learned to manage it”. How to manage it, though?

One of the things that triggers jealousy is the lost of importance. When it fades, there goes the comparison. When there’s comparison, there’s quarrel.

If you don’t want to hear your partner comparing because of jealousy, don’t make a reason to get your partner think of something suspicious. I would suggest that you always evaluate your actions, and try asking yourself “Am I doing all things fairly?” or “Am I still the same as before?” or as simply as “What have I done?”

For instance, if your intention is to be sweet to the people around you, be sweeter to the person whom you want to be with for the rest of your life. Don’t take you relationship for granted. It’s not always that you’re always together or talk to each other you have to forget the rest of story. Always make it to the point or try to get use to an attitude where you provide the needs of partner. Make sure you that whatever good thing you do to other people, you make it more special to your partner. Besides, that’s what relationship is all about: making your “only one” feels special.

DEAD COMMUNICATION

Communication is really important to a relationship. We all know that. What I meant about dead communication is that when partners cut off their communication strings when they are already living together or (for long and not-too-long distance relationship) simply they are virtually offline.

In a relationship, always take the chances of communicating with your partner. It’s a common mistake that partners think they don’t have to talk about their lives anymore when they are together because it would trigger the “Getting Sick of it” factor, that’s not a valid reason.

Every time you feel something wrong, ask yourself again. What will you lose if you just send your partner a message and say “Hey, it’s my lunch break. If you’re hungry you go eat as well. <3” or “I just arrived at office” or “Hi! I’m just cleaning the house!” Truthfully, saying these build foundation in your communication, not only that, it builds trust as well. Actually, even the simplest messages like “Good morning, (name)” and “See you later, Honey” melts a lot of communication gap and even a building anger. For long distance relationship, try sending messages even you’re partner is offline. It makes people smile when they find your name blinking in their messenger or e-mail.

If you think your partner would not appreciate every message, text and calls you make, I would suggest that you think again. Sometimes, it’s not because your ‘only one’ ignores your messages, you don’t make him/her feel special. In fact, every time you call or text or message your partner, at the back of their mind, you make them feel comfortable and special, and later on you make him/her realize that your sweetness has never changed – and that’s part of building trust as well.

Also, never forget to talk about things in nice way, especially if you’re dealing with a problem. Tough situation are not to be settled with tough conversation. Learn how to calm yourself even if the other line is burning with words. The more you’re relaxed the more you understood the situation and come up with better solution.

Above all, get rid of negative things and always look at the brighter side of your situations.

(Photo from: http://www.mentalhelp.net/images/root/vincedivorce.jpg)

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