“I”: A Tale of Depression
I know I can,
But sometimes it gets in my head:
I wanna give up.
I wanna get that knife,
Struck it in my throat;
But I’m afraid of blood.
I wanna get that rope,
Hang myself somewhere;
But I’m afraid of heights.
I wanna get that poison,
Gulp the whole bottle;
But I’m not to brave to do it.
I need to hold on
To someone who can save me from
All of these mess;
Someone I can sit with
In this vast of quietness
And depression and loneliness.
But I guess I’m alone.
I will deal with everything myself,
Me and I.
I thought I was strong
Maybe I worried too much
That’s why until now I’m afraid.
I guess I will run away
Relax my mind and shoulders
And leave the world away.
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The Zero Calorie Adventures of Milk & Coffee
This is actually a dream come true!
Last July, I opened a new domain on wordpress to give space to my much awaiting comics, which is The Zero Calorie Adventures of Milk and Coffee. It’s a bunch of Filipino (Tagalog) comic strips that focuses on the friendship of the characters Milk and Coffee and friends.
The story line came out of no where, when I kept on wearing my weird shades and I started drawing my mini me. That’s explain why ‘Coffee’ had this bug-eye/heart-shaped shades. While the other characters are based on people I encounter and some friends.
The comics is in Tagalog, so sorry for the English-speaking fellas who are following me. It’s actually a risk because I don’t have an idea how it will go since I’m never familiar with the local SEO and how the new site’s Google ranking will climb up. Plus the fact that it’ll be composed of mostly images, I think it will be a great challenge for me.
But anyway, to my Filipino friends here, please support The Zero Calorie Adventures of Milk and Coffee. I’d appreciate it if you will follow and like our posts both on blogs and Facebook.
Just kindly go to these link and hit like:
Milk and Coffee Adventures – Twitter
Milk and Coffee Adventures – Facebook
Milk and Coffee Adventures -Website
Thank you so much!
This blog will never close, by the way. I have plenty of poems to share to you, so please, please stay tuned!
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Sunday
I started taking drugs
And drinking alcohol.
Nobody calls or texts
To say one ‘Hello!’
I don’t know what’s going
In our crazy world.
I pray but I don’t know which god
Will grant me life to you.
What kind of demon are you
Living in my body
It seems you can’t escape
From my callings
I hate to say this
But I think you gonna rot there
I’m alive,
I will survive.
My love is a Sunday
Of my weekdays
Not a Friday
Or Thursday
My love is Sunday
It’s a sweet day
‘Cuz baby I turn happy.
But when you’re gone.
It’s like Monday.
You’re a Sunday, You’re a Sunday
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Understand
Title: Understand
Lyrics: Franco Moje
Why do I have to say again
“The truth seems like an air”?
Why do I fall again
In every word you speak even it has no meaning?
Why do I keep on burning
From your deep cold eyes?
Why do I keep coming back
Just to wipe out your tears?
C:
I need, I need to understand
Why do I feel so in love when we kiss,
When we hold our hands,
When we walk or drink a wine?
I need, I need to understand,
‘Cuz I’m hanging by a thread,
When you stare at my eyes,
And you say you love me yet you’re not in my arms.
Why are you keep coming close
Yet you’re breaking my heart?
Why did you softly pat my head
Then leave me with your captivating look?
Why do I keep on staring
At the cracked walls that reminds us?
Then again I say a little prayer
Just to fill this large space between us.
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Life Tonight
Title: Life Tonight
By: Francis Moje
My life tonight, you can be my love and honey
My Kyptonite, you can be my everything.
You showered me with smile,
That what makes my heart melt.
I love you, my soul, my forever,
Give me chance just for tonight.
You knew, that you’re my ideal one,
That someone I will always love.
I love the small things you were giving,
I no longer have to demand.
You may live for the rest of your days,
Give me chance just for tonight.
Life Tonight, I must be dreaming
Life Tonight, I will cherish this forever.
Life Tonight, give me warm like a red wine.
Oh, my life tonight, you are my life tonight.
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Wrong Turn
Title: Wrong Turn
By: Francis Moje
I’ve got it all, I’ve seen it all
When we were loving each other.
True loves wait but you just hate;
You were only seeing my mistake.
I couldn’t breathe, Your arms were stiff;
You wrapped me, chained me, and sexed me.
You didn’t know that I loved you despite
Of all the things you’ve done.
But there was a wrong turn,
There was a wrong turn, honey.
You chose the wrong path,
You chose to be alone, honey.
We could have been the happiest together,
But took the wrong turn, honey
I need a beer, you made all my fear
That I tremble fear with love today.
I couldn’t believe, It couldn’t find relief
‘Cuz it should’ve not been like that.
I called it quit, yes, I chose it.
Its pain is real, no more game or deal.
Pain know no chances when
We were talking about hurt.
‘Cuz there was a wrong turn,
There was a wrong turn, honey.
You chose the wrong path,
You chose to be alone, honey.
We could have been the happiest together,
But took the wrong turn, honey
You’re revenge couldn’t save us from what we are today.
What we are today is something you…we deserve,
I don’t someone like you in my life,
‘Cuz you took the wrong turn.
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Ikaw Na Lang Sana
By: Francis Moje
Bakit ‘di ko magawang limutin ka?
Bakit ba patuloy na umaasa?
Kung ako ang tatanungin, siguro iisa lang ang sasabihin,
Mahal kasi kita, kaya ikaw na lang.
Ikaw na lang, ang aking hihintayin,
Ikaw na lamang, ang aking iibigin.
Maguluhan man ang aking mundo,
Sa’yo ang buhay ko ay hihinto.
Ikaw na lang, ikaw na lang sana.
Bakit ba ako’y nahumaling sa’yo?
Siguro para sa akin, perpekto ang angas mo.
Nasasaktan dahil may iba ka na yatang mahal,
Ngunit ako’y maghihintay.
Ikaw na lang ang aking mamahalin.
Ikaw na lang ang papangarapin.
Hindi na maghahanap pa ng iba,
Pumuti man lahat ng buhok sa aking bumbunan.
Mahal kasi kita, kaya ikaw na lang sana.
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Clothes
Title: Clothes
By: Francis Moje
Come on here right beside me.
I want to be alone with you tonight.
Turn off the lights and stay.
Play the music; let’s sway.
I will do all the things we dreamed about,
Because I miss all these; I long for your embrace.
I will take all the risk for this kiss.
I need you now; please don’t away.
Your thoughts keeps lingering in my head.
I can still feel your soft skin on my skin.
Your firm lips on my lips
And your blush seen by my narrowed eyes.
Now, now that we have this chance.
Don’t let go of me, I am yours.
So please take a glass of wine
And talk all about us.
But I promised this to you right now.
No need to take off your clothes.
Just show me your smile
And let precious moments take us along.
————–
I’m open to co-write poems and lyrics. Just shoot me a message at ejomlexu[at]gmail.com or leave comment on my any poem. Have a great day!
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Empty Chairs
Title: Empty Chairs
By: Francis Moje
Early morning, it’s traffic on the road.
Beep, beep here; beep, beep there.
I don’t care if it takes ages to get there.
I’m half awake, but already on my way to work.
I’d rather be there, typing on my keyboard.
I don’t care, though, as long as I’m preoccupied.
‘Cuz at home I feel so lonely.
I feel so tired but I can’t just sleep.
There so many spaces I can see,
Like those empty chairs…
I wish you were here with me.
I’m on my home, here we go again.
(They) walk, walk here; run, run there.
People busy with driving, but not with me.
I’m eyes are stressed (or depressed).
I’m gonna go writing here. Where’s my pen?
I don’t care, I guess I will memorize lyrics in the air.
‘Cuz at home I feel so lonely.
I feel so tired but I can’t just sleep.
There so many spaces I can see,
Like those empty chairs…
I wish you were here with me.
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Stitch
Title: Stitch
By: Francis Moje
Come on here, I’m going to take you,
Never you will return.
I will take you somewhere,
A place called ‘my heart’.
I should have done this long time ago.
Sorry, I was busy.
Now, I have all the time,
I will make you mine.
I don’t care about what’s lacking,
I don’t care about what’s wrong.
We’re going to fix it,
We’re going to stitch your heart.
Forget about the lies and broken ties.
Let’s talk about it in a cup of tea,
And let it die, don’t let things stop us.
It’s a perfect Sunday morning, honey,
But we’re staying here.
Just at this corner,
We’ll make love together.
Just close your eyes and lips, darling.
Come on and breathe me in.
I want to soar
Right where your dreams are.
I don’t care about the ugly past,
I don’t care about tomorrow too.
We’re going to fix it,
We’re going to stitch your heart.
Forget about the lies and broken ties.
Let’s talk about it in a cup of tea,
And let it die, don’t let things stop us.
Oh, Baby! But if you want to go, that’s okay.
But let me stitch your heart, stitch your heart,
And fix it like what I promised.
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Broken Ego
Title: Broken Ego
By: Francis Moje
I’ve been banging my head
Trying to open some wounds.
Maybe you can get out of there as it bleed.
Maybe it burst you out of this crazy head.
You keep on blaming me.
When it’s your fault, not mine,
Maybe you should see the tape and rewind.
Maybe let your ego be compromised.
I need a little bit of amnesia today
‘Cuz my mind is
tired of hurt, tired of hurt, tired of hurt
And keep on saying
tired of hurt, tired of hurt, tired of hurt
Along side with my broken heart.
I need a needle of amnesia today
Cuz heart keeps beatin’
Heart attack, heart attack, heart attack
And keep on saying
Heart attack, heart attack, heart attack
Along side with my broken ego.
I realized I never had you.
Memories never seems to be genuine.
Maybe I need to forget all about you.
Maybe I need to erase the lost stars.
Let me sleep for a long time.
I never need your default suicide.
Maybe I’d dream the opposite side.
Maybe I’d torture nightmares for revenge.
I need a little bit of amnesia now.
‘Cuz my mind is
tired of hurt, tired of hurt, tired of hurt
And keep on saying
tired of hurt, tired of hurt, tired of hurt
Along side with my broken heart.
I need a needle of amnesia today
Cuz heart keeps beatin’
Heart attack, heart attack, heart attack
And keep on saying
Heart attack, heart attack, heart attack
Along side with my broken ego.
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Monday
Title: Monday
By: Francis Moje
If I were to create an enemy,
I’d name it ‘Monday’;
So everyone would not need an explanation
Why I terribly hate it.
If I were rename Monday,
I’d name it after me;
So I’d accept because it’s me
And would do the same.
If I were Monday,
I’d choose to be the lightest day;
So everybody would choose me
Among all the days of the week.
If Monday is my neighbor,
I’d give it pies and treats;
So it wouldn’t get bitter and noisy.
Instead, they’d stay quiet and peace.
If Monday was forever,
I’d choose to be with my love;
So I could spend the rest of the day
Without wishing it would end.
If Monday would becoming weekend,
I’d be very, very rich, I guess.
I’d choose to work hard on weekdays
Rather than anticipate what I hate.
————————–
picture c/o: http://garfieldh8smondays.tumblr.com/
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Hole in our Socks
Title: Holes in our Socks
By: Francis Moje
We live in a perfectly imperfect world
But I could not find you here.
You’re always showing the leather side of you,
I never get to see who’s inside.
You’re overprotective,
I’ve never imagined that.
I guess we’re so filtered by our clothes outside,
Hence, we could never tell who we really are.
Crazy to say that I might be falling for you.
It’s been a while since I’ve been seeing sparks from you.
But you never let me in.
You never allow me to have you.
You’re, indeed, embracing me for what I am,
But never you embrace my heart.
What’s stopping you, by the way?
Maybe we can fix it before we lose each other.
Kiss me with your sweet lips that I miss,
Fill my mind with memories,
Indulge my heart with clues about you.
I want this all because of you.
I want this because I want to know more of you,
And reject the false theories and suspicions
That keep on lingering in the air,
Making gap between me and you.
Just relax and inhale some fresh air, baby.
Your feet are tired of walking.
I will just wipe away the dust and sand in your shoes.
Let the breeze of the room
Heal your tired body all the way.
I never mind if you sleep, just stay,
I wanna be with you and ask you
Once open your eyes an be awaken.
In case you fear, I will remind you that we all have hole in our socks.
Don’t be afraid the other side of you.
Don’t bother to explain if you don’t like to.
I’m just hear, I will listen because I want to know you,
Breathe you deep, and take you as part of me.
I will be careful, I won’t hurt you,
Say what you want and need,
I will take you as part of me.
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Dreamer
By: Francis Moje
Sometimes, I thought I’m awake
And I walk far, far away.
I never get tired of the travel
Because I was holding your hand, by the way.
Each movement of my head
Places were changing instantly.
I just didn’t mind it at all,
Because I was with you, anyway.
Why, why, why did I wake up?
Why, why, why there’s a morning call?
I thought my dreams were true
I’m gonna turn off my phone tomorrow.
Why, why, why did I wake up
Why, why, why did I set this alarm.
I thought everything was real.
I’m so crazy. I’m a dreamer.
I even thought you were here,
Though I always wish for it.
I realized you’re only a pillow
I’d cuddle with you all the time.
Nightmare if I could not move
When you’re here by my side.
I sort things out until I find out
I will get you out to this thick head of mine.
Why, why, why did I wake up?
Why, why, why there’s a morning call?
I thought my dreams were true
I’m gonna turn off my phone tomorrow.
Why, why, why did I wake up?
Why, why, why did I set this alarm.
I thought everything was real.
I’m so crazy. I’m a dreamer.
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Dizzy
Every moment
We’re spinning
In the chandelier.
You love him,
But you’re with me.
Baby, what are we?
The summer is scorching,
You and I cannot breathe.
This situation Is suffocating
Baby, you’re making me dizzy.
But with you, I want more spin.
But with you, I want more spin.
But with you, I want more spin.
I can’t believe this happening.
I wanna throw up, I cannot take it.
I feel dizzy.
I can’t believe we’re together,
But maybe not forever.
I feel dizzy.
Every moment
We’re spinning.
I’m dizzy
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My Valentine… (talking to myself)
Long Title: My Valentine… (talking to myself) — a very short story of someone feeling something strange the night before Valentine’s day.
By Yours Truly
Love is an emotion, they say.
Love is a condition for some.
Love is god & God is love for many.
What is love, though?
What is love when if the heart is broken?
It might be easy to answer, but it’s hard to explain why.
It could be hard to answer as well. But who knows…
…the answer might be that someone sitting right beside you.
Hmmmm… (*thinks*)
If he’s the answer, why then couldn’t define love yet?
Should I enumerate: (Grabs a pen and paper…types it in my laptop)
Butterfly in my stomach. Check.
I can relate to love songs. Check.
I feel comfortable with him. Check.
I miss him after some few seconds we separate ways. Check.
I hate it when he don’t text one of these: good morning, good night, and how are you? Check.
Well, I stay awake late because of him. Check.
Can these be a good definition of love?
There could be ways, I guess, to finally tell that I’m in love. And perhaps, he could be my valentines if I tell him what I feel.
It’s so perplexing. Sometimes, I don’t know what I’m writing. I’m starting to run out of notebook pages and my drafts are filling up because I have lots of feelings I want to express in all different ways.
Can you be My Valentine? My Love? OR, maybe not?
Gosh! This one is getting longer and longer.
*phone beeps*
Oh My God! It’s you. Why the hell you’re messaging me in the middle of the night?
*pause writing* *Grabs phone* But wait, should I say good night or I will just seen-zone you for a while?
*Types Good Night!… and :-* and sent*
Oh My Gosh! What did I just do?
*Sees Replying… and beep*
OH MY! He wants to see me tomorrow. Is this it? Is this really it?
Oh my! (Yes, I keep on saying OH MY!) I’m convincing myself now with sighs and relaxation. I guess I should sleep.
*drops pen* *turns off laptop*
I guess I will have My Valentine tomorrow.
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Chained
Chained
By: Ejomlexus
I.
I feel so heavy, broken today.
I feel like the ocean is on top of my head.
Your call blows down my mood
Like a bridge collapsing, disconnecting my heart from you.
II.
You’re a deadly liquid force.
You’re a syringe containing a suicide.
My knees are turning weak
Like I’m kneeling, surrendering just for you to set me free.
III.
Disregard our broken destiny;
Pierce the sword in my heart of stone.
I feel numb just recently.
I wanna melt with the cannon ball in thousand degrees.
IV.
I choke with the views outside.
Happy people don’t have strings with them.
But me, I’m always with you
Even though you’re far away beyond those bricks.
V.
I pull my feet a meter away
But my ankles are bleeding each try.
But when I look at my blood,
I’m glad ‘cuz they are free from my body now
VI.
We’re already through
Set me free from this chain made of you.
Chained, chained, chained
I am to you.
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Blue Eyes
I wrote this a couple of years ago. I guess it’s worth sharing.
Title: Blue Eyes
By: Francis Moje
Your Blue eyes
Don’t tell your lies.
Those Blue eyes
Blend to the color of your world.
Your blue eyes
Make my knees so weak.
Just a stare into your eyes would
Tells the world that I like you so much.
Maybe not today.
I hope I will see you again
Wearing faded shirt and jeans,
With your favorite pairs of shades.
Oh, your blue eyes
Inspire too much.
I wanna take my feet back on the ground
But your blue eyes tell me where the sky is.
Some blue eyes
are never the same as yours.
It couldn’t make my heart bit faster;
Those eyes just remind me of you eveyday.
Maybe not today.
I hope tomorrow I’ll see you again
Even if you break my jaw
I’ll stay astonished with your blue eyes.
Blue eyes…oh, your blue eyes.
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Curtain
Title: Curtain
By: Francis Moje
I.
We have a different role in the world we know
And love is just another act for somebody.
My heart never grows old even the Broadway is yours;
(Yet) Don’t read your lines when we’re taking on the phone.
II.
I’m not a stage actor in the real world, baby.
It’s me that you see; not the character, you think, I’m playing.
Come on dress up and walk outside the stage with me.
I will be myself, and not the actor in me.
(r)
Let’s close this now and end the show.
I want to know what will happen after the curtain is closed.
Forget the lines, the act and the drama.
I want to know what will happen after the curtain is closed.
I wanna know, I wanna feel how true you are to me.
Take the applause and go, come back to me once the curtain is closed.
III.
They love you as the Romeo of the play
But I love you, yes, for who you really are.
You know I can sing for you at the top of my lungs,
Even without the paper lyrics and the memorized scripts.
IV.
I only wish that you won’t “Kiss by the book”.
Take my heart, it’s yours, together with my hands.
“Don’t waste your love on somebody, who doesn’t value it.”
Here I am, I’m true to you, even if the curtain is closed.
(r)
Let’s close this now and end the show.
I want to know what will happen after the curtain is closed.
Forget the lines, the act and the drama.
I want to know what will happen after the curtain is closed.
I wanna know, I wanna feel how true you are to me.
Take the applause and go, come back to me once the curtain is closed.
This life is more than just a play, I want something that’s real.
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10 Feet Above The Floor
I.
Sometimes it feels like everything is a joke
They will throw knifes at you
But later on you’ll find them playing poker with you
It makes me feel I’m stupid or ignorant on what’s going on
Some people will make you fall in love
But after one night, they will disappear with your heart
(Chorus)
Is this how fate play his game?
Emotionally, it’s a painful stress
They keep on telling you to be strong
While someone is hanging you 10 feet above the floor
Who will u believe?
Who is the one deceived?
Is it me or you?
Let me out of this world
Where the only one you can trust is god alone
II.
Sometimes even your heart plays with your mind
It judges anyone, including yourself
As if it doesn’t feel any heartache…as if it doesn’t belong to your body
The world makes me feel I want to move
But I’m trapped in the center of this lonely universe hoping to find someone new
I think there’s a rush; I believe this moment will end in our hands
(Chorus)
Is this how fate play his game?
Emotionally, it’s a painful stress
They keep on telling you to be strong
While someone is hanging you 10 feet above the floor
Who will u believe?
Who is the one deceived?
Is it me or you?
Let me out of this world
Where the only one you can trust is god alone
[Bridge]
Don’t make yourself feel bad
If you’re doing nothing or you’re just sleeping the whole 24 hours
Sometimes it’s good to be quiet and alone
Rather to see yourself becoming a rotten part of this world
(Chorus)
Is this how fate play his game?
Emotionally, it’s a painful stress
They keep on telling you to be strong
While someone is hanging you 10 feet above the floor
Who will u believe?
Who is the one deceived?
Is it me or you?
Let me out of this world
Where the only one you can trust is god alone…oh…oh…oh!
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Pictures
I feel burning every time you touch my heart
You’re smile flashes to me like lightning,
And it totally captures me still where I’m standing.
My head feels so heavy because of unwanted memories
But you are there, just right next to me
Giving crazy talks and talking pictures of me.
B:
Would you mind, would you mind
If I’d love to be with you every minute?
Would you mind, would you mind
If we’d have a pictures of us together?
C:
Take a shot, take a feel, take a picture of us together
Try to see what it feels to be crazy in love with each other.
Take a look, hold my hands, hear the sound of the shutter.
You wouldn’t know, pictures might tell, we belong together.
Please, I get jealous when lose focus on me.
Sorry, if I don’t know what’s happening to me.
Because when you’re far, my heart always zooms you in.
B:
(So) would you mind, would you mind
If I’d love to be with you every minute?
Would you mind, would you mind
If we’d have pictures together?
C:
Take a shot, take a feel, take a picture of us together
Try to see what it feels to be crazy in love with each other.
Take a look, hold my hands, hear the sound of the shutter.
You wouldn’t know, pictures might tell, we belong together.
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Mirror
I thought I miss you sometimes;
But I was wrong, really wrong.
Those were just memories I want to erase; if only I can.
I thought I’m weak without you;
But I was just hungry, for anything.
I can be great and stronger without you near me.
So it’s true,
Trust is like a mirror
You can fix it when it’s broken
But you will still see the crack in-between shards.
Trust is like a mirror,
Only when you see yourself whole
But if you’re broken, can we fix you?
I guess the answer is open and clear as “no”.
They always say that love is the strongest.
But a wrong decision could be one bit closer.
But then, I convinced myself: “Never, anymore!”
Trust can be renewed
But no one knows how.
It seems that we’re trapped in this mirror philosophy.
Maybe just say good bye.
That’s the only I can think of.
We grow, we learn but can never redo ourselves…just like a mirror.
—————
By: Yours Truly
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Hibernate
I’m in my room,
Got lots of things to do;
But I can’t right now
Because I’m thinking of you.
I promised myself
I will clean my thougts
But there’s always you;
I can see and feel you every where.
As I close my eyes,
I can hear you whispering.
As I turn off the lights,
I can feel you breathing on me.
I wanna dream with you, with you.
I wanna hold your hands but you’re not here.
My world is on a spin;
I’m getting crazy for you.
Hibernate is all I can do, so I can be with you.
I’m imagining things.
I guess it’s too much, baby.
But I can’t get rid of it,
‘Cause I need your smile in my head.
I will tell you with kisses
How much I missed you every night;
But I can’t be me,
Because you are not here.
As I close my eyes,
I can hear you whispering.
As I turn off the lights,
I can feel you breathing on me.
I wanna dream with you, with you.
I wanna hold your hands but you’re not here.
My world is on a spin;
I’m getting crazy for you.
Hibernate is all I can do, so I can be with you.
—-
By: Me
Platonic Lang
Sasabay sa agos ng gusto mo
Dahil sa iyo’y umaasang gagaling
Ang sugat na naranasan ko sa aking nakaraan.
Kahit hindi mo pa ako mahal
Ayos lang sa’kin na sumusunod sa’yo.
Baka doon mo malaman kung gaano kita kamahal.
Aasa nga ba ako sa galaw ng puso mo?
Bakit ‘di ko matanggap na
Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin tayo?
May pilit ka bang hinahanap?
Bakit ‘di mo subukan sabihin?
Kahit sa’yo ito’y platonic lang.
Malay mo sa puso ko,
Doon lang pala ito nakatago.
Akala mo lang nagbibiro ako sa lahat ng ‘to.
‘Di mo lang talaga alam,
Naririto ako para sa’yo,
Walang halong biro, lahat ng ito ay totoo.
Aasa nga ba ako sa galaw ng puso mo?
Bakit ‘di ko matanggap na
Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin tayo?
May mali nga ba sa akin?
Subukan mo kaya akong siyasatin
Kahit lahat sa’yo ito’y PLATONIC LANG.
LoveYourself, Inc. — Dare. Care. Share.
The Zero Calorie Adventures of Milk & Coffee
Ejomlexus 